Stupid things I have done so far

I was thinking about the spa addict bit on my blog and how I really feel like I can’t talk about it any longer. I mean hour long massages are around 6 usd most places I visit. You can imagine frequently I indulge. It is embarrassing. I should be really fucking beautiful and relaxed by now.
But these spa treatments made me think of a few really stupid things I have done so far on this vacation. I can only hope to add more, as on a daily basis I do do something rather foolish.

In no particular order:
The event that brought the idea to my head, the shaving off of the eyebrows in Singapore incident. They are finally growing back, but when you are still sitting in a chair thinking,” this is really bad, I need to make the, stop” but don’t– stupid.

Following up the eyebrow incident with another sketchy spa scene, this time right outside a wet market. When a lady tells you you need your nails done, don’t follow her to a back room and let her convience you to let her “thread” your entire face and legs while holding you down. Because she just might slip during one of your pain induced gyrations and shave your eyebrow in half. And you are back to eye brow zero.

If you find yourself on a insanely beautiful rock jetty where the thrashing waves have carved intricate swirls in the lava, pay attention. This started out as a stupid thing and ended up ” wow, I am glad I am not REALLY stupid” thing. The rock cliff at Devils’ Tear in Lembongon, Indonesia was awe inspiring. The water roars a bowl shaped formation on both the rightt and left side of this lava formation. Filled with glowing pools of sunset colored sea water, this looked like a fairy kingdom. I was standing trasfixed, transported into one of those states of near physical euforia, looking around, my heart embracing the world, when I realize the water is swinging around the far side of the bowl 12 feet overhead. I logically deduce this will follow the same path as the smaller waves I have been gazing at so entranced, and think simply, “shit.” I look up to see that Astrid is not as close to the edge as I (thanks to a tearsly hissed, ” get over here” by my darling husband) and decide I can’t possibily move fast enough to out run the wave. I kneel down and grab ahold of a jagged lava outcropping and hold on as the wave smashes down on me pulling me both down and outward. As the wave hits the second bowl to my right, swinging around like a sommelier swirling wine, I hold my breath and grab tighter. It nearly bowled me sideways but not quite. When the wave finally passes, I stand up and try to laugh it off to the horror of my friends and the deep deep disaproval of my poor enervated husband.

Just a quick one, don’t rent a motorbike and try to go down a 50 degree hill and not expect teenagers to race in front of you. Just don’t get on a bike at all if you are as spacy as me, or Shelly Duvall in Nashville.

So when I was on the train in Vietnam I found the squat toilets to be free more frequently than the european style so I used them quite a bit. This could easily be tmi, but I brush my teeth while peeing. In this situation, Just don’t. Trains move, people fall, toothbrushes are lost into the bowels of the train sewage.

Look both ways, two of three times crossing streets as the locals drive on most sides, all sides, sidewalks, sideways and when you scream, ( and I always do) everyone will laugh at you. Which is okay unless you have a pre teen daughter, then you are fucked. Just save yourself the trouble and stay on one block. I did that in Saigon, and it was fine. I even found a fantastic spa where I got a facial, and massage for 16 usd.

So there you go. A few of the stupid things I have all ready done, looking forward to a couple more months to top off.

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